


Someone to Watch Me Die

by L0VEPACK



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, Oral Sex, Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 03:27:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17859374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L0VEPACK/pseuds/L0VEPACK
Summary: "Why are you here?" Villanelle asks. "You," Eve says.Or, Eve visits Villanelle's apartment again, and this time, she gets what she's really after.





	Someone to Watch Me Die

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this after I finished season 1, so obviously it's not going to be compliant with whatever happens in season 2. But the season 2 trailer dropped, I'm rewatching so I can show a friend, and well, the desire to edit and post this hit me. 
> 
> Here's your final reminder that this is not safe for work!

“Why are you here?” she asks.

Eve recognizes them for her own words, many months ago, when Villanelle was in her kitchen. Except now she’s in Villanelle’s apartment, again, and it’s Villanelle who doesn’t know what Eve wants from her.

Villanelle never answered the question when Eve asked her, which was probably for the best, because Eve probably couldn't have handled the answer. But now that she was being asked the same thing, she was prepared to be honest.

“You,” she says. It’s concise. It’s the truth, although maybe not the whole truth. Villanelle can fill in the blanks, she figures.

Villanelle smiled. “Me,” she says. It wasn't a question. “You are here for me.”

“Are you surprised?”

“No,” she says, full of confidence. “No, I'm not surprised. You're not here to kill me,” she adds. “You're here because-”

“I want-”

“You want-”

It's almost ridiculous, Eve thinks, how at almost the exact same time as she says “you,” Villanelle says “me,” and they both look each other directly in the eye. It's also surprising how Villanelle's expression is confident, but hardly the smug look she expected to get when she finally was honest about this. Of course she's glowing, Eve thinks, of course she looks happy, but the happiness seems so genuine, so almost vulnerable, that it affects her tremendously. Eve's mouth twitches a little at the corners as if she's going to smile. She doesn't, but only because she knows something inside of her, hardened and twisted and congealed, is softening just slightly, and that might be more terrifying than what she knows she's about to ask.

What she's about to ask for, though, is still pretty terrifying.

“You,” she says, laughing, “you are a lot. You're disturbing, and violent, and- you're radiant, and beautiful, and you're so many things I never knew I wanted until I wanted them. I spent years trying not to so much as glance at women like you, or women at all, and now look where that got me, just in the perfect position for someone like you to just...pull out the wrong Jenga block, and now here we are-”

“Eve,” she says softly, putting a hand on her shoulder. Eve looks away, so she puts a hand on her cheek and tilts her face towards her. “Hey. Look at me.”

“Sorry,” she says quietly. “It's a lot.”

“I know,” she says, and pulls her into a hug. Eve hugs back with more force than she originally intended, nearly shaking. They stay like that for a moment.

“I don't know what I was thinking, coming here,” Eve groans. “I don't know what I'm doing.”

“It's going to be okay,” she says. “I know what I'm doing.”

“Which is what, exactly?” Eve asks, pulling away and looking at her. “What are you planning on doing?”

Villanelle looks at her reproachfully. “Eve...”

“What?”

She looks intently at her. “You already know. You know what you came here for, I heard you say it.”

“Right, I said I came here for you, and I did, but-”

“Are you going to make me say it for you?”

“Fine, fine!” Eve says, annoyed. “Fine, I came here for sex. With you. I came here to have sex with you, which frankly I've been wanting to do for more time than you might think.”

Villanelle's eyes light up. “Really? How long?”

“A while,” Eve says. She bites her lip. “Since Paris. I mean, that was the first time I acknowledged it, but probably longer than that. If I'm being honest.”

“So...”  
  
“Yeah,” Eve says. It might be an agreement (to sex with Villanelle), or an acknowledgement (that she wants to have sex with Villanelle.) It feels to her a little like a nail in a coffin. Either way, her intent isn't clear to anyone, least of all herself.

“Do you want to keep talking about it? Or...” Villanelle trails off suggestively.

“Oh, no, I think I've done enough talking,” Eve laughs.

“Shame,” she says, cupping Eve's face with her left hand. “I like talkers.”  
  
“Oh. Dirty talk? I don't know,” Eve says, then smiles a little. “I mean, I'm willing to try. But...”

She takes a deep breath. It's too late now, she thinks, to pretend this isn't what she wanted after all, or to trick her again somehow. She's in too deep, in completely over her head, if she's being honest. And maybe what she wants after all is to dive in further.

“But what?” Villanelle asks, leaning in a little closer.

Eve places a hand on the back of her neck.

“But right now, I think my mouth will be occupied,” she whispers, and kisses her.

It's a really good kiss. It feels different than any other kiss Eve can remember, but whether that's because it's finally with another woman, or because it's finally with Villanelle, she isn't sure. It doesn't matter much when Villanelle is making those soft noises in the back of her throat which only make Eve want to kiss her more intensely- which she does.

It's almost surprising to her how Villanelle yields so quickly. It's encouraging her to be bolder, kiss deeper, walk them backwards until her back is against a wall. She stops short of pressing her against it.

“Is this good?” she asks, pulling away for a moment. “I mean, is this okay with you?”  
  
“Yes,” Villanelle says softly. “Yes, absolutely.” She grins and tugs on Eve's collar. “I like it,” she adds, her smile turning sultrier.

“Good,” Eve says, leaning into her with a little pressure. “I like it too.” She kisses her again.

Villanelle's arms drop to her sides, then she snakes them around Eve's waist, and slowly creeps her hands down to her ass. Eve makes a noise that starts out like a gasp and ends like a growl against Villanelle's throat, where her lips press hard and her teeth gently scrape.

Villanelle taps Eve's shoulder gently, and she looks up at her with a questioning gaze. She gets a good look at Villanelle's face. The younger woman is flushed and panting and practically glowing.

“I have a bed,” she says casually, though her breathing is still heavy.

“Good idea,” Eve says in what she hopes is an equally casual tone, even though she's dizzy with the knowledge of where this has already gone, and where it's definitely going.

Villanelle takes her hand and leads her to it. It's familiar as it was the first time she was lying on it. In fact, Eve notices, it has the exact same bedding on it, and to her horror she notices a faint bloodstain.

“You didn't get new ones?”

She shakes her head. “I'm nostalgic.”

“Ugh,” Eve says, “that's actually pretty disturbing, you know.”

“If you'd just kissed me then, it wouldn't be an issue now,” she teases.

“Right, well,” Eve sighs. “I guess I'll just have to keep making up for that.”

She finds herself making up for it over and over, as she kisses Villanelle again and again. She tugs gently on her shirt, and Villanelle pulls back long enough for her to take it off. Villanelle undoes her own bra, casting it aside as Eve stares openly at her bare chest. Then she’s on her again, kissing her and cupping her breasts in her hands as Villanelle guides her toward the bed. Eve almost falls on top of her as Villanelle lies down.

Once they’re reclining, Eve brushes her thumb against her left nipple. Villanelle's eyes go wide, and she breathes in sharply, then grins.

“I've always liked them, you know,” Eve says, a little shyly.

Villanelle grabs her face and pulls her into a kiss. “And you've made me wet since the moment I saw you,” she whispers hotly in her ear.

Eve collapses beside her on the bed. “Oh, okay, well that's a lot to take in.” She covers her face for a moment.

“Sorry, I thought you'd like to know,” Villanelle says, shrugging.

“Well, I mean, it is...” Eve gestures vaguely. “I mean, it...okay,” she says, crawling on top of her and moving to grab her arms, then hesitating.

Villanelle breathes heavily.

“Is it okay if I pin them down?” Eve asks.

“Only if you tell me exactly what you're thinking,” she answers, grinning.

She grabs Villanelle's wrists and moves them above her head.

“Okay, yeah, it's absolutely doing something for me to hear that,” she says breathily. “Tell me more. What did you do about it?”

“I already told you I've been masturbating to thoughts of you,” she answers, grinning a little. There's a flush to her cheeks that's more excitement than embarrassment.

“When did you start?” Eve starts kissing her neck.

“When I knew you were chasing me,” she says, then moans as Eve hits a sensitive spot with her lips, and then with her teeth.

“You liked that?”  
  
“Oh, yes, it's very sexy, being pursued by you,” she says. “In my fantasies...”

“What? Tell me more,” Eve says, insistently.

“Well, they were a lot like this,” Villanelle admits. “In a lot of them, you won.”  
  
“I captured you?” Eve drags her tongue along her collarbone. “And then what?”

Villanelle laughs. “You sound like a straight boy.” Her eyes widen again. “But I was excited by the thought of you finding me. Questioning me, though of course, in my mind you'd always be pinning me against a wall, and I'd seduce you. And we'd have angry, angry sex. Or, tender,” she adds. “Sometimes it was tender.”

“Which are we doing now?”

“It's up to you,” she says, and lightly kisses her cheek. “I can go either way.”

“I want...” Eve looks shy again.

“What is it you want?”

“I want you to masturbate,” she blurts out in one breath. “I mean, I want to watch you. See how you like to do it when you're thinking of me.”  
  
“Okay,” she says. “But you're going to have to give me back my hands. I'm not even fully naked yet. And you aren't naked at all.”

“Can I finish undressing you then?” Eve asks.

“Only if you let me see your tits,” Villanelle laughs. “I think I've earned that.”

Eve lets go of her hands. She moves to remove Villanelle's pants but stops herself. Quickly she pulls off her own shirt and throws it over the side of the bed.

“Hey!” Villanelle protests. “I bought you that shirt. It's nice, you should treat it ni-”

Her words die in her throat as she realizes that Eve's chest is completely bare. Before Eve can do or say anything, Villanelle pulls off her pants and underwear in one motion.

“I was supposed to do that,” she says, but soon her eyes are drawn to the space between Villanelle's thighs. Almost in a trance, Eve places her hands on her knees and parts her legs.

“I thought you wanted to watch me,” Villanelle says, but her voice is soft.

“Is it okay if I-”

“Yes,” she says. “Absolutely. Have you ever done this before?”

“No,” she admits. “But I've thought about doing this, with you.”  
  
“For how long?”

“After we had dinner, that one night,” she admits. “You know, just because I wasn't bold enough to say it, doesn't mean I didn't fantasize about you, too.”

“Did you masturbate?”

“Yes.”  
  
Villanelle smirks. “Was it good?”

“The first time I thought about you, I came so hard it scared me,” she admits. “It still scares me, how I feel about you. I know it's crazy, but...I just kept wondering. How you'd look. How you'd...taste.”

“You don't have to wonder anymore,” she says.

Eve smiles. “Looks like you're right,” she says, and presses a kiss between Villanelle's thighs.

Villanelle groans slightly at that, and again when Eve touches her there. It’s a gentle, curious touch, but when she finds her clit and presses against it, Villanelle gasps and looks down to see her smirking slightly. Then Eve repositions herself, using her hand to spread Villanelle’s folds and pressing her mouth against her. This time, it’s not just a shy kiss, but a long stroke of her tongue, and Eve is moaning, and Villanelle can feel it.

Eve stops suddenly. Villanelle looks down at Eve, who is settled between her legs still, propping herself up with one elbow. Eve looks up at her sheepishly.

“You want to stop?” Villanelle asks, trying not to sound disappointed.

“No, I don’t, I like it,” Eve responds. “I mean I really, really like it – there aren’t words for what doing this for you does to me, but…” She laughs. “It’s my hair. It’s getting in the way.”

“Oh,” she says, and then she laughs a little with her.

“God, I think – I think there’s like, a strand of it in my mouth,” Eve adds, and she pulls at her own lips ineffectually, grasping for it.

“So, put it up,” Villanelle suggests.

Eve pulls the hair tie from around her wrist and starts putting her hair back.

“I probably should’ve worn it up for this from the start, but I had these fantasies of my hair spilling over your thighs,” she admits, looking embarrassed again.

Villanelle raises her eyebrows.

“You really do think about me all the time,” she says, clearly amused. “You were not lying.”

“No,” Eve says. “Not to you. Only to myself.”  
  
She lowers her mouth again, and this time the pressure of her tongue is stronger, and again, she’s moaning against Villanelle’s clit. Villanelle moans with her, clutching at the sheets with her hands, until eventually her curiosity overcomes her, and she places her hand on Eve’s head. Eve just moans more and keeps swirling her tongue, so Villanelle taps against her forehead gently with her fingers until she pulls away for a moment.

“You want me to stop?” she asks. She crawls up Villanelle’s body, to get a better look at her face.

“No, I just want to know, are you doing that on purpose?” Villanelle asks in return.

“Doing what?” Eve looks at her, confused. “The stuff with my tongue?”  
  
“No, the – humming, or moaning, or…whatever it is, exactly, that you’re doing while you do the stuff with your tongue,” she clarifies. “You are good with your tongue,” she adds.

“Oh,” Eve says. “Uh, thank you.”  
  
“You are sure you’ve never done this before?” she asks, a mischievous look in her eyes.

“Okay, now you’re just flattering me,” Eve says.  
  
“You like it,” Villanelle responds, smirking at her.

Eve rolls her eyes and starts to move back down her body. She kisses her stomach, gently, avoiding the scar she left. It’s a reminder that this is a pause in the abnormality of their lives, and she doesn’t want to think about what it will be like when this is over, and she has to think about where to go from here. She can’t avoid that reality forever, but the scar she can move around. There’s still a lot of Villanelle’s skin to press her lips against as she moves back down between her thighs.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Villanelle says, before groaning as Eve’s tongue finds a rhythm again.

“Honestly, I didn’t even realize I was doing it,” Eve says, when she can bear to pull her mouth away again. “You just taste so fucking good.”

“I thought you were shy about dirty talk,” Villanelle says, breathlessly. She grins. “But you are good at it.”

Eve doesn’t know how long she spends there between Villanelle’s legs. It only occurs to her that she’s still half-dressed when she feels herself getting increasingly wet, and she thinks about the state of her panties. That thought only lasts for a moment before she’s focused on Villanelle’s body again, and how incredible it feels to have her under her, bucking against her mouth. Eve isn’t sure when that started happening, either – when Villanelle started writhing impressively on her bed, or when her moans increased in pitch, turning almost to little squeaks. After one particularly desperate sounding cry, Eve looks up at her face.

She's panting, her chest heaving, eyes fluttering closed.

Eve pulls away, and Villanelle groans softly. She crawls her way back up her body, putting her hand between her legs and starting to stroke her clit as Villanelle reaches her hands out towards her face. She's well aware that she’s a mess, but Villanelle doesn't seem to be bothered by it – if anything, she kisses her with more intensity, tasting herself on Eve's lips.

“You're close?” she asks, although she already knows the answer.

Villanelle nods, her lips parted, looking surprisingly vulnerable.

“Look at me,” she whispers. “Look me in the eye.”

She thinks about all the times she's done this to herself in her life – before meeting Villanelle. After. She presses one finger inside her, then another. It's not long before she feels her contract around her fingers, tightly.

Villanelle climaxes. And Villanelle holds her gaze.

Eve collapses onto the bed beside her, waiting for her breathing to slow and her body to still. Villanelle turns onto her side and looks at her, giving her a satisfied smile. Her smile fades slightly as she remembers the last time she was lying beside Eve on this bed, when Eve had been so close, and then had shattered her hopes by stabbing her. Eve gives her a look like she’s thinking of that too, and Villanelle frowns slightly.

“I don't know what comes next,” Eve admits.

“I thought you'd be coming next,” Villanelle retorts.

Eve snorts.

“I mean...I really don't want this to be a one-time thing. But I’m supposed to be searching for you. I’m supposed to be tracking you down to stop you, not to be worrying about what happens to you next. I can't just suddenly pretend I gave up on finding you. I don't know if I can protect you,” she says.

“You want to protect me?” She laughs. “What, it was that good? You didn't even come yet.”

“I think you know it isn't just about the sex. Even if it was the best I've had in my life.”

“But you didn't come,” Villanelle says insistently.

“That doesn't matter. I liked what we did. But the point is that, as extremely fucked up as it is, I care about what happens to you. It's really- it's honestly shitty of me, to want to- to shelter you, or keep you from getting what you frankly deserve, because...you make me...happy?” Eve rubs her forehead.

“Is this supposed to make me feel good?” she asks, frowning deeper.  
  
“No,” she sighs. “Sorry. I just...”

“I know. I'm not a good person.”

“No,” Eve agrees. “But I might fall in love with you anyway.”

Villanelle’s mouth twists slightly. There’s a long, almost unbearable silence. They lie there, looking at each other, but not touching, until Eve finally brushes a strand of Villanelle’s hair behind her ear. Villanelle lets out a deep sigh.

“I’m not used to that,” she says, finally.

“I know, baby,” Eve says.

Villanelle raises her eyebrows at that, then nods.

“I don’t know if I can protect you,” Eve says again. “I want to, though. I…God, I want to keep doing this, and I want to keep you safe, but I don’t know if I can do that.”

“Can we worry about that tomorrow?” Villanelle asks, quietly.

“You want me to stay the night?”  
  
“Yes,” Villanelle says. “I – did you eat dinner? It’s still light outside,” she adds. “I can cook, if you’d like, and I have movies – a lot of movies. We can watch whatever you’d like. And – if you’d stay with me tonight, the whole night, I would like that.”

“Yes,” Eve says. “Yes, I’ll stay.”

 


End file.
